I loved todays challenge because I read about this same topic in our other marriage book and it stuck out to me as something important not only in marriage and relationships but also in everyday encounters with others. I've been more aware of being positive and showing love to people the past year. Something had to change in my life. In 2011 I was struggling with finding a job and feeling really down on myself in my career life and it affected Dave and my relationship. I was always expecting him to pay attention to me and make me feel better that I was selfish and not asking about his day. I did that long enough to where he started to close off and became self-centered in him own life. We weren't talking much and when we were it was forced. We went through a really hard time as a couple and as individuals. I finally got a job and started to get my self-confidence back but there was still something missing from our relationship until we had a pretty large fight to where we actually communicated to each other how we were feeling. I saw how my self-centerdness affected Dave to make him close off to me. We worked hard to get where we are today but I learned an important lesson during that time and that is to show love to him no matter what. You know why? Because showing that love puts love back in your life and it's this wonderfully positive circle of love and kisses and hugs :) Mushy, I know, but so TRUE!!
I also got back into yoga where they teach the same lessons! It's great for the mind and the body. (If you have time you should try it out.) It teaches you to be gentle to yourself and love yourself. When you love yourself (not in a conceded way but in an I'm created in God's image kind of way) it's easier to love others around you and when you love others you have loving feelings. Again with that mushy circle of love.
Side note:
It's amazing when I get a customer that comes in smiling and asks me how my day is and it turns my negative attitude positive. Simple! So. Very. Simple. Then the next people in line gets happy and friendly Delaine and it just keeps going!
Love is not about what Dave can do for me but what I can do for him to make his hard day a little better or listen to him when he needs to talk or buy him a Scooby Doo movie (yes, we do have a large Scooby Doo collection). Him coming home is my favorite part of the day and I want to make sure that's his favorite part of the day too so I'm going to show him love. I would love to keep him around for a long time. So, I'm going to make conscious decision to show love. It's not forced but it's thought out. So really, it's thoughtful! I'm thinking of Dave.
Not by any means am I perfect at this. Not even close! But, I'm aware of it and I'm going to work on it. Even when it's hard and I'm in a bad mood I need to learn to take a deep breath and take positive, loving actions towards others. Simple idea but difficult to act out. Here's to working on showing love everyday.
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