Giant Slacker!

Ha! I can't help but laugh at myself because I get really excited about doing things and then if it's longer than a few weeks I get bored. Oops. I know a lot of people are the same way so I don't feel as bad. Plus, Holy freakin' busy last couple of weeks. My summer is ending quite nicely! I had one of the better Sundays yesterday. We started out at a football fantasy draft pick at Dave and Liz's, then went to one of Dave's gym friends going away party, went to get Bandit washed by the Denver Roller Derby girls at Prost to benefit both them and the Max Fund, relaxed a bit, and ended at dinner and ice cream with Jackie and Jaime. Packed full of great people and positive feelings! Thank goodness because I'm going to be working a lot this week. Icky.

Last weekend a big group of friends went up to Salida and climbed Mt. Shavano, went rafting, went to breweries and a winery, played outside and just enjoyed a gorgeous view. Again, just great feelings! Then I come back to reality and get screwed over trying to find a job so until them it's serving beer and pizza and setting my worthless masters degree to the wayside.

Back to the book...

I don't remember what we ended on so I'm just going to write a few highlights because I get the feeling people don't care about the non-drama, lovey-dovey crap I write about anyway.

There are a few dares that may be helpful later in our relationship when we do fight or have to compromise but on a random day when we don't see each other its had to do that days challenge. But some good ones that I like are when we do fight we need to establish healthy rules of engagement. So that's always a good thing to have! I said I won't thrown things (don't worry, no things have been thrown at dave) and that we need to use "I feel" statements (Look! My counseling degree coming in useful for once!). I also added that we need to end with saying I love you. I feel it lightens the mood and it's good to still let each other know we love them even if they are driving us crazy!! We got good advice from Dave's cousin in one of our wedding cards which said "fight naked." Very smart! Dave said he's not going to yell and I said he should not walk away (He does that when people don't agree with him).

I'm excited to see what he does for todays challenge which is Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend time with your spouse. He LOVES Crossfit so of course that popped into my mind right away but this is also the last day his friend is going to be there so I couldn't be mad if he went to say good-bye. Even if she wasn't leaving I worry he wouldn't pick to stay with me and go to the gym :( I'm pretty lazy and go with the flow of what Dave wants to do most of the time so I don't know what I would neglect to spend more time with him. I barely leave the house on Mondays because it's my recovery day and house cleaning day. I may have to do this challenge on a different day. See what I mean?! Sometimes these challenges aren't valid when you're supposed to do it. However, I'm still enjoying this book.

Support your Husband (and wife for that matter)

I'm not going to lie, I was over-zealous about writing a blog everyday for this challenge with Dave. Working on the relationship is much easier than finding time and energy to write a blog. But, I'm going to keep at it!

Day 9 and Day 10:

Day 9's challenge was to take the negative list we wrote of the other person the day before and destroy it! It actually said to burn it so I got all symbolistic and burned it. Well, burned half of it and then thought I was gong to burn down the coffee table. After that we were suppose to praise the other person for an accomplishment they have done lately. I told Dave I was proud of him for kicking ass at work and he praised me for putting together our wedding and how smoothly it all came together. I see all these quotes about looking forward in life and that's what today's lesson taught me. I always want to look back and I feel that people owe me things for the wrong they have done to me in the past but that's just giving the past a place in the present and it don't belong here. My happiness and positive relationship with Dave belongs here!

Day 10's challenge was greet your spouse in a way you hope to greet them on a daily basis- smiling and enthusiasm and such. So, what else do guys want to see than a not fully clothed wife? Nothing! Maybe a new playstation but I don't have the funds for that at the moment so Dave will have to settle with just me ;) I'm not going to greet him like that everyday but I do want him to know that I'm excited to see him so a playful hug and kiss will have to do.

So far so good on this first year of marriage. We're having fun with each other and enjoying the more intense bond we have now. When people talk to me about how they aren't ready and how they may never get married because they are happy where they are now I feel bad for them. Granted this is only from my experience and perspective but I love showing the world that I am committed to this guy and this relationship. It truly is a stronger bond and I'm happier in this kind of relationship than any I have had before including the ones with Dave. I have this companion and support for the rest of my life and that makes it feel different. The everyday life stuff is the same but we are connected on a higher level now. I'm proud to call Dave my husband and I couldn't imagine not having him as my spouse. He's stuck with me now!  

Love is not... (days 5,6,&7)

I missed the last couple of days because Dave and I miss each other when he's at work, I'm at home and when he's home, I'm at work so there isn't a good time to sit down and discuss the days lesson together so we had to kinda join them all in one discussion. Day 5 was love is not rude. Day 6 was love is not irritable and today is love believes the best.

With love is not rude we had to tell each other three things that irritates or makes us uncomfortable. We each only came up with two and I struggled even naming those at the moment. I know there are things that bug me about Dave but they happen in the moment and I will usually get upset, take a breath and/or pout and get over it because I don't want it to ruin the time we are having together.

On the same topic, I vent to my girlfriends about a lot of things and of course relationship issues come up. However, I read this one piece of advice that said "Never talk bad about your husband to other people. Never." and I thought about this and I thought to myself "duh! Why would people do that?" and then I thought some more about it and I realized that sometimes I need to get my anxiety out and that's what friends are for. I don't speak badly about Dave but I do tell them my concerns and irritations which I feel benefits the relationship because I get to vent. If my friends want to judge me and our relationship then they can judge but Dave and I know how we truly are together. This also helped me to understand not to be quick to judge other people's relationships but to be there for support. Adults can make their own decisions (for the most part) ;)

Moving on...

With love is not irritable which the task was a little more difficult to complete. It asked us to act with love and not irritation with more difficult circumstances in our marriage. We haven't had difficult circumstances yet but will keep this day in mind when those days come...

Todays is day seven and the challenge was to write a positive list and negative list about your spouse and tell which list was easier to write and then to tell the other person ONE positive thing off of their list. From what I said before the negative list was harder to write because once I say what irritates me or I get what's bugging me off my chest I usually let it slip out of my mind. Anyway, the positive things about Dave out weights the negatives ones by so many. Those are the things that I focus on on a daily basis. I could just keep writing on that list and that's what the book told us to focus on throughout the marriage because that negative list is like cancer and can slowly destroy your relationship. Plus, who wants all that negative in their life. I have usually a day per month or everyday irritation that seems to want to make an appearance all on the same day and I get exhausted from being pissed off most of the day. So, my positive thing about Dave was his patients he has and he showed it again when I asked him what positive thing I said about him. Oops... forgetful me. His for me was my easy going nature and that I can go with the flow.

On a side note we went to Sassafras and got milkshakes... Delicious!! Do yourself a favor and make it down there to try one! I had the Fruity Pebbles and next time I'm going to get the Capt Crunch! Yum!