This post is about how I've been feeling over the past years and I go in phases where I'm super happy where life has taken me but the biggest disappointment has been in my careers (or lack there-of). But, I'm not going to focus on that today. I'm making a mental decision to be happy with where I am because life has given me so many new opportunities that I can't keep being depressed about certain aspects in my life when I have some pretty wonderful ones I wouldn't trade any day for anything.
We found this great row home in an awesome neighborhood that we have been living in for a year. It's an end unit, great neighbor, nice, however small yard for the dog and walking distance to great places. Well, the landlord tells Dave about a month and a half ago that he wants to sell it. Ugh, there goes our great place and we have to move again. But, wait! He tells us he'll sell it to us for a pretty great deal for the neighborhood. Now during all this Dave also is waiting to hear about whether or not he got this position out in DC. I like being the voice or reason and taking one thing at a time so we decided to buy the house! Of course 2 days later we hear we're moving to DC! I have nothing holding me here so we're taking this adventure while we're young to live in the nations capital! Really looking forward to it. We're buying this house and moving all within a month!
I have felt stagnant so I'm itching to go ASAP. I've been going on all of these interviews and haven't been chosen for the job and I feel it's God's way of saying "No, you're going to have an adventure. It's time to take a different route than you planned for your life." I think that has been the hardest thing for me. I had this great plan for my life and yes, I've had many wonderful things happen, but it hasn't worked out like I wanted it. I clearly wasn't taking the hints with these smalls gestures God was giving me so he had to make them a little larger like going to DC.
During this time of my plan crashing and burning I get upset because I can't control what's happening and I miss out on all the wonderful little things happening around me everyday. I give control to someone else and I like control so why am I not taking control of my own happiness and living the life I have (a pretty darn good life at that)??
I just read a blog about traveling young and yes, it is expensive and yes, the plane rides are long but how wonderful it is to experience new things and talking with people about what you experienced because I feel everyone wants to travel and they are truly interested in your experience. So, this blog opened my eyes, yet again, to loosen up, enjoy this wonderfully annoying yet beautiful ride of life. Starting with spending all our savings on a down payment and traveling across the country with a 90 lb dog and cat in the back seat to start a new adventure in the capital. So, yes fellow blog writer, travel... but at whatever age and for whatever reason! (And appreciate every little moment)
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Giant Slacker!
Ha! I can't help but laugh at myself because I get really excited about doing things and then if it's longer than a few weeks I get bored. Oops. I know a lot of people are the same way so I don't feel as bad. Plus, Holy freakin' busy last couple of weeks. My summer is ending quite nicely! I had one of the better Sundays yesterday. We started out at a football fantasy draft pick at Dave and Liz's, then went to one of Dave's gym friends going away party, went to get Bandit washed by the Denver Roller Derby girls at Prost to benefit both them and the Max Fund, relaxed a bit, and ended at dinner and ice cream with Jackie and Jaime. Packed full of great people and positive feelings! Thank goodness because I'm going to be working a lot this week. Icky.
Last weekend a big group of friends went up to Salida and climbed Mt. Shavano, went rafting, went to breweries and a winery, played outside and just enjoyed a gorgeous view. Again, just great feelings! Then I come back to reality and get screwed over trying to find a job so until them it's serving beer and pizza and setting my worthless masters degree to the wayside.
Back to the book...
I don't remember what we ended on so I'm just going to write a few highlights because I get the feeling people don't care about the non-drama, lovey-dovey crap I write about anyway.
There are a few dares that may be helpful later in our relationship when we do fight or have to compromise but on a random day when we don't see each other its had to do that days challenge. But some good ones that I like are when we do fight we need to establish healthy rules of engagement. So that's always a good thing to have! I said I won't thrown things (don't worry, no things have been thrown at dave) and that we need to use "I feel" statements (Look! My counseling degree coming in useful for once!). I also added that we need to end with saying I love you. I feel it lightens the mood and it's good to still let each other know we love them even if they are driving us crazy!! We got good advice from Dave's cousin in one of our wedding cards which said "fight naked." Very smart! Dave said he's not going to yell and I said he should not walk away (He does that when people don't agree with him).
I'm excited to see what he does for todays challenge which is Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend time with your spouse. He LOVES Crossfit so of course that popped into my mind right away but this is also the last day his friend is going to be there so I couldn't be mad if he went to say good-bye. Even if she wasn't leaving I worry he wouldn't pick to stay with me and go to the gym :( I'm pretty lazy and go with the flow of what Dave wants to do most of the time so I don't know what I would neglect to spend more time with him. I barely leave the house on Mondays because it's my recovery day and house cleaning day. I may have to do this challenge on a different day. See what I mean?! Sometimes these challenges aren't valid when you're supposed to do it. However, I'm still enjoying this book.
Last weekend a big group of friends went up to Salida and climbed Mt. Shavano, went rafting, went to breweries and a winery, played outside and just enjoyed a gorgeous view. Again, just great feelings! Then I come back to reality and get screwed over trying to find a job so until them it's serving beer and pizza and setting my worthless masters degree to the wayside.
Back to the book...
I don't remember what we ended on so I'm just going to write a few highlights because I get the feeling people don't care about the non-drama, lovey-dovey crap I write about anyway.
There are a few dares that may be helpful later in our relationship when we do fight or have to compromise but on a random day when we don't see each other its had to do that days challenge. But some good ones that I like are when we do fight we need to establish healthy rules of engagement. So that's always a good thing to have! I said I won't thrown things (don't worry, no things have been thrown at dave) and that we need to use "I feel" statements (Look! My counseling degree coming in useful for once!). I also added that we need to end with saying I love you. I feel it lightens the mood and it's good to still let each other know we love them even if they are driving us crazy!! We got good advice from Dave's cousin in one of our wedding cards which said "fight naked." Very smart! Dave said he's not going to yell and I said he should not walk away (He does that when people don't agree with him).
I'm excited to see what he does for todays challenge which is Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend time with your spouse. He LOVES Crossfit so of course that popped into my mind right away but this is also the last day his friend is going to be there so I couldn't be mad if he went to say good-bye. Even if she wasn't leaving I worry he wouldn't pick to stay with me and go to the gym :( I'm pretty lazy and go with the flow of what Dave wants to do most of the time so I don't know what I would neglect to spend more time with him. I barely leave the house on Mondays because it's my recovery day and house cleaning day. I may have to do this challenge on a different day. See what I mean?! Sometimes these challenges aren't valid when you're supposed to do it. However, I'm still enjoying this book.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Support your Husband (and wife for that matter)
I'm not going to lie, I was over-zealous about writing a blog everyday for this challenge with Dave. Working on the relationship is much easier than finding time and energy to write a blog. But, I'm going to keep at it!
Day 9 and Day 10:
Day 9's challenge was to take the negative list we wrote of the other person the day before and destroy it! It actually said to burn it so I got all symbolistic and burned it. Well, burned half of it and then thought I was gong to burn down the coffee table. After that we were suppose to praise the other person for an accomplishment they have done lately. I told Dave I was proud of him for kicking ass at work and he praised me for putting together our wedding and how smoothly it all came together. I see all these quotes about looking forward in life and that's what today's lesson taught me. I always want to look back and I feel that people owe me things for the wrong they have done to me in the past but that's just giving the past a place in the present and it don't belong here. My happiness and positive relationship with Dave belongs here!
Day 10's challenge was greet your spouse in a way you hope to greet them on a daily basis- smiling and enthusiasm and such. So, what else do guys want to see than a not fully clothed wife? Nothing! Maybe a new playstation but I don't have the funds for that at the moment so Dave will have to settle with just me ;) I'm not going to greet him like that everyday but I do want him to know that I'm excited to see him so a playful hug and kiss will have to do.
So far so good on this first year of marriage. We're having fun with each other and enjoying the more intense bond we have now. When people talk to me about how they aren't ready and how they may never get married because they are happy where they are now I feel bad for them. Granted this is only from my experience and perspective but I love showing the world that I am committed to this guy and this relationship. It truly is a stronger bond and I'm happier in this kind of relationship than any I have had before including the ones with Dave. I have this companion and support for the rest of my life and that makes it feel different. The everyday life stuff is the same but we are connected on a higher level now. I'm proud to call Dave my husband and I couldn't imagine not having him as my spouse. He's stuck with me now!
Day 9 and Day 10:
Day 9's challenge was to take the negative list we wrote of the other person the day before and destroy it! It actually said to burn it so I got all symbolistic and burned it. Well, burned half of it and then thought I was gong to burn down the coffee table. After that we were suppose to praise the other person for an accomplishment they have done lately. I told Dave I was proud of him for kicking ass at work and he praised me for putting together our wedding and how smoothly it all came together. I see all these quotes about looking forward in life and that's what today's lesson taught me. I always want to look back and I feel that people owe me things for the wrong they have done to me in the past but that's just giving the past a place in the present and it don't belong here. My happiness and positive relationship with Dave belongs here!
Day 10's challenge was greet your spouse in a way you hope to greet them on a daily basis- smiling and enthusiasm and such. So, what else do guys want to see than a not fully clothed wife? Nothing! Maybe a new playstation but I don't have the funds for that at the moment so Dave will have to settle with just me ;) I'm not going to greet him like that everyday but I do want him to know that I'm excited to see him so a playful hug and kiss will have to do.
So far so good on this first year of marriage. We're having fun with each other and enjoying the more intense bond we have now. When people talk to me about how they aren't ready and how they may never get married because they are happy where they are now I feel bad for them. Granted this is only from my experience and perspective but I love showing the world that I am committed to this guy and this relationship. It truly is a stronger bond and I'm happier in this kind of relationship than any I have had before including the ones with Dave. I have this companion and support for the rest of my life and that makes it feel different. The everyday life stuff is the same but we are connected on a higher level now. I'm proud to call Dave my husband and I couldn't imagine not having him as my spouse. He's stuck with me now!
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Love is not... (days 5,6,&7)
I missed the last couple of days because Dave and I miss each other when he's at work, I'm at home and when he's home, I'm at work so there isn't a good time to sit down and discuss the days lesson together so we had to kinda join them all in one discussion. Day 5 was love is not rude. Day 6 was love is not irritable and today is love believes the best.
With love is not rude we had to tell each other three things that irritates or makes us uncomfortable. We each only came up with two and I struggled even naming those at the moment. I know there are things that bug me about Dave but they happen in the moment and I will usually get upset, take a breath and/or pout and get over it because I don't want it to ruin the time we are having together.
On the same topic, I vent to my girlfriends about a lot of things and of course relationship issues come up. However, I read this one piece of advice that said "Never talk bad about your husband to other people. Never." and I thought about this and I thought to myself "duh! Why would people do that?" and then I thought some more about it and I realized that sometimes I need to get my anxiety out and that's what friends are for. I don't speak badly about Dave but I do tell them my concerns and irritations which I feel benefits the relationship because I get to vent. If my friends want to judge me and our relationship then they can judge but Dave and I know how we truly are together. This also helped me to understand not to be quick to judge other people's relationships but to be there for support. Adults can make their own decisions (for the most part) ;)
Moving on...
With love is not irritable which the task was a little more difficult to complete. It asked us to act with love and not irritation with more difficult circumstances in our marriage. We haven't had difficult circumstances yet but will keep this day in mind when those days come...
Todays is day seven and the challenge was to write a positive list and negative list about your spouse and tell which list was easier to write and then to tell the other person ONE positive thing off of their list. From what I said before the negative list was harder to write because once I say what irritates me or I get what's bugging me off my chest I usually let it slip out of my mind. Anyway, the positive things about Dave out weights the negatives ones by so many. Those are the things that I focus on on a daily basis. I could just keep writing on that list and that's what the book told us to focus on throughout the marriage because that negative list is like cancer and can slowly destroy your relationship. Plus, who wants all that negative in their life. I have usually a day per month or everyday irritation that seems to want to make an appearance all on the same day and I get exhausted from being pissed off most of the day. So, my positive thing about Dave was his patients he has and he showed it again when I asked him what positive thing I said about him. Oops... forgetful me. His for me was my easy going nature and that I can go with the flow.
On a side note we went to Sassafras and got milkshakes... Delicious!! Do yourself a favor and make it down there to try one! I had the Fruity Pebbles and next time I'm going to get the Capt Crunch! Yum!
With love is not rude we had to tell each other three things that irritates or makes us uncomfortable. We each only came up with two and I struggled even naming those at the moment. I know there are things that bug me about Dave but they happen in the moment and I will usually get upset, take a breath and/or pout and get over it because I don't want it to ruin the time we are having together.
On the same topic, I vent to my girlfriends about a lot of things and of course relationship issues come up. However, I read this one piece of advice that said "Never talk bad about your husband to other people. Never." and I thought about this and I thought to myself "duh! Why would people do that?" and then I thought some more about it and I realized that sometimes I need to get my anxiety out and that's what friends are for. I don't speak badly about Dave but I do tell them my concerns and irritations which I feel benefits the relationship because I get to vent. If my friends want to judge me and our relationship then they can judge but Dave and I know how we truly are together. This also helped me to understand not to be quick to judge other people's relationships but to be there for support. Adults can make their own decisions (for the most part) ;)
Moving on...
With love is not irritable which the task was a little more difficult to complete. It asked us to act with love and not irritation with more difficult circumstances in our marriage. We haven't had difficult circumstances yet but will keep this day in mind when those days come...
Todays is day seven and the challenge was to write a positive list and negative list about your spouse and tell which list was easier to write and then to tell the other person ONE positive thing off of their list. From what I said before the negative list was harder to write because once I say what irritates me or I get what's bugging me off my chest I usually let it slip out of my mind. Anyway, the positive things about Dave out weights the negatives ones by so many. Those are the things that I focus on on a daily basis. I could just keep writing on that list and that's what the book told us to focus on throughout the marriage because that negative list is like cancer and can slowly destroy your relationship. Plus, who wants all that negative in their life. I have usually a day per month or everyday irritation that seems to want to make an appearance all on the same day and I get exhausted from being pissed off most of the day. So, my positive thing about Dave was his patients he has and he showed it again when I asked him what positive thing I said about him. Oops... forgetful me. His for me was my easy going nature and that I can go with the flow.
On a side note we went to Sassafras and got milkshakes... Delicious!! Do yourself a favor and make it down there to try one! I had the Fruity Pebbles and next time I'm going to get the Capt Crunch! Yum!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Day four: Love is thoughtful
I just got home form work and Dave just got home from softball so tonights post is going to be short.
The dare was to contact each other throughout the day just to see if we can something for the other person. Dave and I both failed at this dare until the end of the day when we texted each other. Both of our responses were kisses :) Muah! However, I did complete a favor Dave asks me the day before and that was to get up and attempt to buy Great American Beer Fest tickets which I succeeded at doing!
We slacked at todays dare but I feel that we always think of each other throughout the day. Dave usually always takes a break from work to call me and just take a few moments to chat.
Today at work one of my co-workers said that she would stay and close and I could go home. I would have LOVED to leave but I thought about Dave and contributing to our relationships financially and I was a big girl and stayed until close. Many of my actions take Dave into account. I want to make him proud and happy to call me his wife. Apparently all I have to do is buy his beer festival tickets and I'm golden ;)
I'm going to go relax with my husband and go to bed.
Until tomorrow...
The dare was to contact each other throughout the day just to see if we can something for the other person. Dave and I both failed at this dare until the end of the day when we texted each other. Both of our responses were kisses :) Muah! However, I did complete a favor Dave asks me the day before and that was to get up and attempt to buy Great American Beer Fest tickets which I succeeded at doing!
We slacked at todays dare but I feel that we always think of each other throughout the day. Dave usually always takes a break from work to call me and just take a few moments to chat.
Today at work one of my co-workers said that she would stay and close and I could go home. I would have LOVED to leave but I thought about Dave and contributing to our relationships financially and I was a big girl and stayed until close. Many of my actions take Dave into account. I want to make him proud and happy to call me his wife. Apparently all I have to do is buy his beer festival tickets and I'm golden ;)
I'm going to go relax with my husband and go to bed.
Until tomorrow...
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Day three: Love is not selfish
Today's challenge was to buy your spouse something that said, "I was thinking about you today."
I loved todays challenge because I read about this same topic in our other marriage book and it stuck out to me as something important not only in marriage and relationships but also in everyday encounters with others. I've been more aware of being positive and showing love to people the past year. Something had to change in my life. In 2011 I was struggling with finding a job and feeling really down on myself in my career life and it affected Dave and my relationship. I was always expecting him to pay attention to me and make me feel better that I was selfish and not asking about his day. I did that long enough to where he started to close off and became self-centered in him own life. We weren't talking much and when we were it was forced. We went through a really hard time as a couple and as individuals. I finally got a job and started to get my self-confidence back but there was still something missing from our relationship until we had a pretty large fight to where we actually communicated to each other how we were feeling. I saw how my self-centerdness affected Dave to make him close off to me. We worked hard to get where we are today but I learned an important lesson during that time and that is to show love to him no matter what. You know why? Because showing that love puts love back in your life and it's this wonderfully positive circle of love and kisses and hugs :) Mushy, I know, but so TRUE!!
I also got back into yoga where they teach the same lessons! It's great for the mind and the body. (If you have time you should try it out.) It teaches you to be gentle to yourself and love yourself. When you love yourself (not in a conceded way but in an I'm created in God's image kind of way) it's easier to love others around you and when you love others you have loving feelings. Again with that mushy circle of love.
Side note:
It's amazing when I get a customer that comes in smiling and asks me how my day is and it turns my negative attitude positive. Simple! So. Very. Simple. Then the next people in line gets happy and friendly Delaine and it just keeps going!
Love is not about what Dave can do for me but what I can do for him to make his hard day a little better or listen to him when he needs to talk or buy him a Scooby Doo movie (yes, we do have a large Scooby Doo collection). Him coming home is my favorite part of the day and I want to make sure that's his favorite part of the day too so I'm going to show him love. I would love to keep him around for a long time. So, I'm going to make conscious decision to show love. It's not forced but it's thought out. So really, it's thoughtful! I'm thinking of Dave.
Not by any means am I perfect at this. Not even close! But, I'm aware of it and I'm going to work on it. Even when it's hard and I'm in a bad mood I need to learn to take a deep breath and take positive, loving actions towards others. Simple idea but difficult to act out. Here's to working on showing love everyday.
I loved todays challenge because I read about this same topic in our other marriage book and it stuck out to me as something important not only in marriage and relationships but also in everyday encounters with others. I've been more aware of being positive and showing love to people the past year. Something had to change in my life. In 2011 I was struggling with finding a job and feeling really down on myself in my career life and it affected Dave and my relationship. I was always expecting him to pay attention to me and make me feel better that I was selfish and not asking about his day. I did that long enough to where he started to close off and became self-centered in him own life. We weren't talking much and when we were it was forced. We went through a really hard time as a couple and as individuals. I finally got a job and started to get my self-confidence back but there was still something missing from our relationship until we had a pretty large fight to where we actually communicated to each other how we were feeling. I saw how my self-centerdness affected Dave to make him close off to me. We worked hard to get where we are today but I learned an important lesson during that time and that is to show love to him no matter what. You know why? Because showing that love puts love back in your life and it's this wonderfully positive circle of love and kisses and hugs :) Mushy, I know, but so TRUE!!
I also got back into yoga where they teach the same lessons! It's great for the mind and the body. (If you have time you should try it out.) It teaches you to be gentle to yourself and love yourself. When you love yourself (not in a conceded way but in an I'm created in God's image kind of way) it's easier to love others around you and when you love others you have loving feelings. Again with that mushy circle of love.
Side note:
It's amazing when I get a customer that comes in smiling and asks me how my day is and it turns my negative attitude positive. Simple! So. Very. Simple. Then the next people in line gets happy and friendly Delaine and it just keeps going!
Love is not about what Dave can do for me but what I can do for him to make his hard day a little better or listen to him when he needs to talk or buy him a Scooby Doo movie (yes, we do have a large Scooby Doo collection). Him coming home is my favorite part of the day and I want to make sure that's his favorite part of the day too so I'm going to show him love. I would love to keep him around for a long time. So, I'm going to make conscious decision to show love. It's not forced but it's thought out. So really, it's thoughtful! I'm thinking of Dave.
Not by any means am I perfect at this. Not even close! But, I'm aware of it and I'm going to work on it. Even when it's hard and I'm in a bad mood I need to learn to take a deep breath and take positive, loving actions towards others. Simple idea but difficult to act out. Here's to working on showing love everyday.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Day Two: Acts of kindness
hi life. :).... That was from Dave.
Day two: Do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Today was easy for me. I cleaned and picked up the house and Dave noticed it when he came home. I also had full intentions on cleaning up after the dog in the back yard but it rained and everything was moist. Eww. So that may happen tomorrow.
Dave still owes me mine (I feel he struggled at thinking of something and for good reason) but he said I'm going to get an uninterrupted, two handed back rub which I'm so looking forward to!!
Dave had a very eventful and productive day which included meeting with the president of his company, gathering info for mortgage companies, and cooking dinner for me while I was out catching up with the lovely Sarah Sanders. He's pretty much awesome.
Anticipation has got to be one of the most stressful things! That and operating outdated Mac computers.
Anyway, I digress...
"Kindness is love in action." The opening sentence to day two's lesson. This holds true to relationships and just encounters with people on a daily basis. Working with the public on a day-to-day basis can sure test my patience and kindness. I couldn't even imagine treating another person like the way that I'm treated sometimes. It's disheartening but hopefully only temporary.
"Kindness creates a blessing." Let's face it, when you treat people with kindness you feel 100% better! Whether they ignore you, just smile, or straight on acknowledge you, you feel better. Blessing= you feeling positive, not needing a reinforcement. You may have been the thing that person needed that day. Always be kind. ALWAYS. It's just better for society... and wrinkles ;)
Until tomorrow... give someone a smile.
Day two: Do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Today was easy for me. I cleaned and picked up the house and Dave noticed it when he came home. I also had full intentions on cleaning up after the dog in the back yard but it rained and everything was moist. Eww. So that may happen tomorrow.
Dave still owes me mine (I feel he struggled at thinking of something and for good reason) but he said I'm going to get an uninterrupted, two handed back rub which I'm so looking forward to!!
Dave had a very eventful and productive day which included meeting with the president of his company, gathering info for mortgage companies, and cooking dinner for me while I was out catching up with the lovely Sarah Sanders. He's pretty much awesome.
Anticipation has got to be one of the most stressful things! That and operating outdated Mac computers.
Anyway, I digress...
"Kindness is love in action." The opening sentence to day two's lesson. This holds true to relationships and just encounters with people on a daily basis. Working with the public on a day-to-day basis can sure test my patience and kindness. I couldn't even imagine treating another person like the way that I'm treated sometimes. It's disheartening but hopefully only temporary.
"Kindness creates a blessing." Let's face it, when you treat people with kindness you feel 100% better! Whether they ignore you, just smile, or straight on acknowledge you, you feel better. Blessing= you feeling positive, not needing a reinforcement. You may have been the thing that person needed that day. Always be kind. ALWAYS. It's just better for society... and wrinkles ;)
Until tomorrow... give someone a smile.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
The Love Dare- the beginning
It's been a while since I actually got on here to write something, but, with good reason... I got married! Hence the reason for this new post. I will get back to the wedding blog here real soon because my wedding turned out as close to perfect as you can get. Great people, great weather, great EVERYTHING! So I will be sharing with you a few things that I did (DIY), things that went smoothly and things that I wish were slightly different. However, this blog is about the actual first month of marriage (tomorrow will actually be our first monthaversary so I'm a day early).
Stephanie Webb gave me this book called The Love Dare for my first bridal shower ad I actually just looked at it yesterday (sorry, Steph) and got real excited about it! So much so that I texted Dave and said we had to start this 40 day journey right away!! This book holds the couple to a 40 day relationship challenge. Since I told myself a few months back that I wanted to start a blog to keep track of my life and failed miserable at it this will be a dual challenge for myself. I will not only be going through this journey with Dave but I'm going to write about ever dare on this blog. I know I will miss a few days but I'm going to keep notes for myself to update when I get around a computer. If any friend reads this and notices that I missed a day, please, harass me!!!
So, here we are, DAY ONE:
The books start out easy... so we thought.
"The next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all."
Ha! Now don't think that Dave and I just say negative crap to each other all the time because that's just not true. We tease each other! (That's just how our relationship stays fun and youthful, by teasing.) We went out shopping and to run a few errands while being aware of today's dare. We're supposed to think before we speak but since we're both smartasses that was difficult to overcome. We both caught ourselves saying negative things towards the other but don't worry because the other person was quick to call the other one out on their negative remark. I would score us n a scale of one to ten, ten being amazing, an eight. Our "negative" things we say to one another are innocent enough but we struggled with thinking about our words before saying them. That's something we NEED to work on but otherwise, we did pretty kick-ass!
A great quote from this book "Patience is where love meets wisdom."
I love that quote because patience takes practice as well as being aware and in control of your thoughts and words.
Another thought on this topic...
I was speaking with a friend from work about relationships and marriage and we got on this topic of being upset with the spouse and instead of starting an argument just taking a few breathes and letting it go. I actually got to practice this on the honeymoon a few times and I feel that it was beneficial. I like communicating but I also like enjoying my time with Dave and if it was something that just bugged me for the moment I got more joy out of time together if I just took a few moments to be angry to myself and let it go. My friend said even after so many years of marriage she struggles at doing that. She asked how I did it and I guess I just felt that making that one thing into a big deal wasn't going to make the situation any better rather make us both uncomfortable and closed off. I married a wonderful, caring, and amazing guy but even he can push my buttons (and I KNOW I push his) so my moments of being truly angry at him are few and far between.
I'm looking forward to the next forty days and to share it.
Davey, I love you!
The Love Dare and a glass of wine to get the creative juices flowing.
Stephanie Webb gave me this book called The Love Dare for my first bridal shower ad I actually just looked at it yesterday (sorry, Steph) and got real excited about it! So much so that I texted Dave and said we had to start this 40 day journey right away!! This book holds the couple to a 40 day relationship challenge. Since I told myself a few months back that I wanted to start a blog to keep track of my life and failed miserable at it this will be a dual challenge for myself. I will not only be going through this journey with Dave but I'm going to write about ever dare on this blog. I know I will miss a few days but I'm going to keep notes for myself to update when I get around a computer. If any friend reads this and notices that I missed a day, please, harass me!!!
So, here we are, DAY ONE:
The books start out easy... so we thought.
"The next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all."
Ha! Now don't think that Dave and I just say negative crap to each other all the time because that's just not true. We tease each other! (That's just how our relationship stays fun and youthful, by teasing.) We went out shopping and to run a few errands while being aware of today's dare. We're supposed to think before we speak but since we're both smartasses that was difficult to overcome. We both caught ourselves saying negative things towards the other but don't worry because the other person was quick to call the other one out on their negative remark. I would score us n a scale of one to ten, ten being amazing, an eight. Our "negative" things we say to one another are innocent enough but we struggled with thinking about our words before saying them. That's something we NEED to work on but otherwise, we did pretty kick-ass!
A great quote from this book "Patience is where love meets wisdom."
I love that quote because patience takes practice as well as being aware and in control of your thoughts and words.
Another thought on this topic...
I was speaking with a friend from work about relationships and marriage and we got on this topic of being upset with the spouse and instead of starting an argument just taking a few breathes and letting it go. I actually got to practice this on the honeymoon a few times and I feel that it was beneficial. I like communicating but I also like enjoying my time with Dave and if it was something that just bugged me for the moment I got more joy out of time together if I just took a few moments to be angry to myself and let it go. My friend said even after so many years of marriage she struggles at doing that. She asked how I did it and I guess I just felt that making that one thing into a big deal wasn't going to make the situation any better rather make us both uncomfortable and closed off. I married a wonderful, caring, and amazing guy but even he can push my buttons (and I KNOW I push his) so my moments of being truly angry at him are few and far between.
I'm looking forward to the next forty days and to share it.
Davey, I love you!
Friday, May 10, 2013
Derby Bridal Shower
This last weekend my mom and one of my bridesmaid Jackie threw an amazing Kentucky Derby themed bridal shower. Not only was I incredibly blown away by the work those two (and my dad) did but I was overwhelmed by the support and love of my family and friends who attended. I wanted to share a few things that made it super special to me :)
First: I absolutely loved the Kentucky Derby theme because Dave, Travis, John, and I all went to the Derby in Kentucky in 2011. And, yes, I went with three boys sharing one hotel room but it was such a wonderful trip I wouldn't change it. We flew into Indianapolis stayed there a night and drove down to Louisville because flights into Louisville were outrageous so we had a mini road trip. We stayed at the lovely Econolodge for an outrageous amount of money also (Thanks Travis for helping us out with that one). We had lovely weather for the Derby (unlike this years Derby being very soggy) which made day drinking that much more fun. We made it in Churchill Downs, made our bets, and right away found the Mint Julep guy. Bought myself two of those bad boys right away and drank them within the matter of minutes and I was set to go to the infield. Now, the infield tickets we're too expensive by any means, about $35 or so but you have to be selected from a lottery to be able to purchase them. We dressed in nice derby attire because it was our first time but the infield is a different animal. People are dressed white trash, swimming suits, in traditional Derby attire and some even topless (guys and gals). Needless to say, I was drinking water and decided that everyone who walked past me looked hot to I gave them a little squirt (Dave got angry with me). Amazing time! So, I'm glad Jackie had the brilliant idea to throw a Derby themed par-tay!
Photo's of Derby Past...
My mom and Jackie went all out. Jackie got all the supplies and decorations which included lanterns, roses, mint juleps in mason jars, popcorn, and the horses on flyers so when the race came on you knew which pony was yours. My mom was in charge of the food and she went all out with fruit, chicken sandwiches, boneless chicken wings, side dishes and the beautiful strawberry and champagne cake- from Das-Meyers in Arvada. It's also the little things that made it special like last summer my parents, Dave and I took a trip to South Dakota and we stopped at a winery just outside of Deadwood where we bought this Strawberry Rhubarb wine so my mom got a case of that for the shower.
So of course there was hat decorating because you need a decorated hat at the Derby.
This was the amazing cake
The snack table and where you picked your pony
The glassware
My mom being sassy
The spread
The cake table
Carol, me, Stacey, and Darlene
Aunt Laura, Great Aunt Elaine, Grandma Pat, and Aunt Elaine
The two Hostess with the mostest... Jackie and my mom
Jackie and I
All the ladies and Buddy :)
Aunt Erika and my Grandma showing off their hats. My grandma won best decorated!
First: I absolutely loved the Kentucky Derby theme because Dave, Travis, John, and I all went to the Derby in Kentucky in 2011. And, yes, I went with three boys sharing one hotel room but it was such a wonderful trip I wouldn't change it. We flew into Indianapolis stayed there a night and drove down to Louisville because flights into Louisville were outrageous so we had a mini road trip. We stayed at the lovely Econolodge for an outrageous amount of money also (Thanks Travis for helping us out with that one). We had lovely weather for the Derby (unlike this years Derby being very soggy) which made day drinking that much more fun. We made it in Churchill Downs, made our bets, and right away found the Mint Julep guy. Bought myself two of those bad boys right away and drank them within the matter of minutes and I was set to go to the infield. Now, the infield tickets we're too expensive by any means, about $35 or so but you have to be selected from a lottery to be able to purchase them. We dressed in nice derby attire because it was our first time but the infield is a different animal. People are dressed white trash, swimming suits, in traditional Derby attire and some even topless (guys and gals). Needless to say, I was drinking water and decided that everyone who walked past me looked hot to I gave them a little squirt (Dave got angry with me). Amazing time! So, I'm glad Jackie had the brilliant idea to throw a Derby themed par-tay!
Photo's of Derby Past...
My mom and Jackie went all out. Jackie got all the supplies and decorations which included lanterns, roses, mint juleps in mason jars, popcorn, and the horses on flyers so when the race came on you knew which pony was yours. My mom was in charge of the food and she went all out with fruit, chicken sandwiches, boneless chicken wings, side dishes and the beautiful strawberry and champagne cake- from Das-Meyers in Arvada. It's also the little things that made it special like last summer my parents, Dave and I took a trip to South Dakota and we stopped at a winery just outside of Deadwood where we bought this Strawberry Rhubarb wine so my mom got a case of that for the shower.
So of course there was hat decorating because you need a decorated hat at the Derby.
We did the normal shower stuff like open gifts (again, I was just overwhelmed by people's generosity), played some bridal party games, ate, drank, and just had a good time. I am extremely grateful for the effort put into throwing the shower and the loved ones who came for support! Thanks everyone!
P.S. Dave was out all day playing human size beer pong and hitting up the Broadway bars with his friends as an in-town kind of Bachelor Party. We met up with them later in the evening.
P.P.S. I picked the winning pony, ORB! I never win but it was appropriate for the day ;) Here's some more photos...
Grandma Pat and Great Aunt Elaine
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Realistic Marriage
Our Officiant suggested that we read The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller. I'm only about 20% into the book and it has already made me look at marriage in a completely different light. One of the first things that stuck out to me while reading was that marriage isn't supposed to be sentimental. (This sounds a little harsh and I'm going to try to explain it as well as the author does so it makes sense). Marriage isn't supposed to be a fairytale but a journey together as a growing couple. Marriage is hard but it's the most rewarding relationship a human can have. It's the joining of two people who are who they are- not to be changed but to grow.
I cry at weddings all the time because it's a beautiful thing when two people come together to embark on this beautifully infuriating journey. I sit there and listen to their mushy vows and think how perfect they are for each other but the real story is that marriage is hard! I hear many people say that you get married to complete stranger no matter how long you have been together for. It's not finding a "soulmate" because that just isn't realistic. I now see marriage in a realistic way and it truly helped me to understand it a little better. There are going to be those super hard days, months, and even years (reminds me of the Friends opening song) but not having those expectations of the fairytale marriage should be beneficial in supporting one another. I have a better grasp on what I'm getting in to. Knowing that times WILL get hard will better prepare us to deal with them in the future instead of us being hit by that realization that marriage isn't always perfect. Understanding this will hopefully boost the well-being of Dave and I as individuals and together as a couple.
Many people look for that perfect partner but they don't exist! They just don't. Everyone knows there is no perfect person and there never will be (not on earth anyway). So why do so many people I know pick apart every little thing about another person just to find this non-existant perfect counterpart? Or what may be even worse is that you find someone and think you can change them. Oh no. That's just a break-up or divorce waiting to happen. What I'm trying to get across is that marriage shouldn't be seen with hearts and flowers and smiles surrounding the couple as they let go of 2 white doves. It should be seen as a realistic and rewarding journey that two people get to take together which will include heartache, sadness, joy, and excitement. It gets to be shared by two people in love. This is why I feel there is a higher number of divorces now because there is this silly, sugar coated unrealistic expectation of what marriage really is and people go into it with the completely wrong mindset.
I'm very much looking forward to spending my life with Dave- good and bad times. We get to form a bond together. I'm excited to get to celebrate accomplishments and support him in times he struggles. It strengthens and deepens the relationship. In marriage you get to hold the spouse to a higher standard. They choose to marry you and be with you through whatever life throws your way. In that regard I'm holding Dave to be my support and my spouse. He needs to be the one who is there for me first and foremost and I for him. It's exciting and I'm glad I still have 80% of this book left to read!
I cry at weddings all the time because it's a beautiful thing when two people come together to embark on this beautifully infuriating journey. I sit there and listen to their mushy vows and think how perfect they are for each other but the real story is that marriage is hard! I hear many people say that you get married to complete stranger no matter how long you have been together for. It's not finding a "soulmate" because that just isn't realistic. I now see marriage in a realistic way and it truly helped me to understand it a little better. There are going to be those super hard days, months, and even years (reminds me of the Friends opening song) but not having those expectations of the fairytale marriage should be beneficial in supporting one another. I have a better grasp on what I'm getting in to. Knowing that times WILL get hard will better prepare us to deal with them in the future instead of us being hit by that realization that marriage isn't always perfect. Understanding this will hopefully boost the well-being of Dave and I as individuals and together as a couple.
Many people look for that perfect partner but they don't exist! They just don't. Everyone knows there is no perfect person and there never will be (not on earth anyway). So why do so many people I know pick apart every little thing about another person just to find this non-existant perfect counterpart? Or what may be even worse is that you find someone and think you can change them. Oh no. That's just a break-up or divorce waiting to happen. What I'm trying to get across is that marriage shouldn't be seen with hearts and flowers and smiles surrounding the couple as they let go of 2 white doves. It should be seen as a realistic and rewarding journey that two people get to take together which will include heartache, sadness, joy, and excitement. It gets to be shared by two people in love. This is why I feel there is a higher number of divorces now because there is this silly, sugar coated unrealistic expectation of what marriage really is and people go into it with the completely wrong mindset.
I'm very much looking forward to spending my life with Dave- good and bad times. We get to form a bond together. I'm excited to get to celebrate accomplishments and support him in times he struggles. It strengthens and deepens the relationship. In marriage you get to hold the spouse to a higher standard. They choose to marry you and be with you through whatever life throws your way. In that regard I'm holding Dave to be my support and my spouse. He needs to be the one who is there for me first and foremost and I for him. It's exciting and I'm glad I still have 80% of this book left to read!
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Understanding everyday life
I was sitting in church this past Sunday, listening to the sermon while thinking back to my schooling at the Lutheran church/school. I remember going through all the bible stories, learning the books of the bible, going through Catechism class and passing everything but looking back I didn't really understand what I was learning enough to apply it to my life then. I just went through the actions, got my grade, and moved on with life. While sitting in church I felt something different. I saw how the stories connected to my life at this present moment and I got excited! I started taking note on my phone (Dave thought I was texting). Another example I have is from college. I would research papers online and write good research papers but I didn't bring what I learned into my life. There were so many research papers wrote just to get the grade and then I would put them out of my mind. This is now the reason I am writing a blog so I can reflect on anything and everything in life that will have a positive impact on me as a person.
I have done yoga for the past couple of years and I believe it has really helped me learn to be "in the moment." But, even in class yesterday I was excited to start my blog that I had to bring myself back to the moment in yoga and just "live in the now." Yoga has taught me more than just that. It has taught me to be patient and know that it is yoga practice and that I will not be the ultimate yogi after only a few classes. If you know me you know that I am a super competitive person and I'm very hard on myself to be perfect at what I do the first time around. I know that something has changed whether it's yoga that helped me or just growing up. Dave and I were playing tennis with some friends and usually if I mess up I would get mad and throw my racquet but this time I just enjoyed being outside, being around people I enjoy and of course, my new purple kick-ass Nike's. It was a revelation to me to enjoy the positive things and know I'm not a pro tennis player.
I'm hoping that by writing I will be able to apply the lessons I learn throughout life and be able to understand my daily actions and encounters. I want to bring purpose and meaning to my actions and the way I respond to other people and events. I feel that I learned all of this in grade school but again, didn't understand it then. Better late than never.
Not to mention that the next few months are really exciting since I'm getting hitched at the end of June so hopefully some good stories will come from that!! I feel this will be a scattered blog that's not just going to focus on one topic.
Purple!
I have done yoga for the past couple of years and I believe it has really helped me learn to be "in the moment." But, even in class yesterday I was excited to start my blog that I had to bring myself back to the moment in yoga and just "live in the now." Yoga has taught me more than just that. It has taught me to be patient and know that it is yoga practice and that I will not be the ultimate yogi after only a few classes. If you know me you know that I am a super competitive person and I'm very hard on myself to be perfect at what I do the first time around. I know that something has changed whether it's yoga that helped me or just growing up. Dave and I were playing tennis with some friends and usually if I mess up I would get mad and throw my racquet but this time I just enjoyed being outside, being around people I enjoy and of course, my new purple kick-ass Nike's. It was a revelation to me to enjoy the positive things and know I'm not a pro tennis player.
I'm hoping that by writing I will be able to apply the lessons I learn throughout life and be able to understand my daily actions and encounters. I want to bring purpose and meaning to my actions and the way I respond to other people and events. I feel that I learned all of this in grade school but again, didn't understand it then. Better late than never.
Not to mention that the next few months are really exciting since I'm getting hitched at the end of June so hopefully some good stories will come from that!! I feel this will be a scattered blog that's not just going to focus on one topic.
Purple!
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